Still Standing

Sorry folks, I am still here! I’ve been quiet for a variety of reasons, none of which I am going to write about, just yet.

I had my Acting Head-shots taken the other day, they have come out really well! Actually look decent! Which surprises me, because I think I’m anything but attractive! Just need to work out which Acting Agency to use, they all charge, it’s just a case of which is the best one for the money. Some serious scouting about is gong to be in order.

Now then, it’s apparently “the most wonderful time of the year”. Yes, it is, for the majority of people, however, there are some of us, who find Christmas very difficult. I’ll be honest, I always used to love Christmas, first sound of Christmas music and I’d be high as a kite till beyond New Year. Mince Pies, Mulled Wine, Christmas Cake, Stollen, lots of Chocolate, Candy Canes, Christmas Markets, roaring fires, the smell of a real tree, roast Chestnuts, brass bands, carols, being with friends and family, such joy. Sadly, I no longer feel any of that, even eating Mince Pies and Stollen doesn’t help, not even carols. In-fact hearing carols makes me sad, my favourite radio station Classic Fm played the one piece I have been dreading, “Somewhere in my memory” from Home Alone, I don’t know what it is about that piece, but it gets to be every-time! Same with “In the Bleak Midwinter” and “Silent Night”, I have yet to hear my favourite carol, “Three Ships”, maybe I’ll have a shy smile on my face when that is played. This Christmas will be long and lonely, and it’s making me not even want to put up decorations..very unlike me

This year my partner is probably working Christmas Eve and Boxing day, his Nan is going to his Mum’s in Devon, I was going to go to Scotland to be with my parents and Grandparents until I heard his Nan was going away. I’d feel guilty him being alone at Christmas. Which is an interesting thought considering some aspects of my life of late. Anyway, I guess everyone has a bad Christmas every so often, right?

Still Standing. Still Breathing.

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"Like a Dandelion up through the pavement, I persist" Wentworth Miller

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Posted in Blog, depression

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