Just got home having completed week four of my 10 week Script Analysis class. For today’s class we had to analyse (yeah I know it’s the course) the script “Au Pair and the Student”, which is from the play The Blue Room, intriguing script, lots of facts and questions. I somehow managed to end up with 11 pages of hand written and 7 pages of typed in the end!
However, having had a bad few days, just wanting to curl up into a ball, hide under the duvet, disappear, the fact I even went today is, in itself, an achievement. Did not feel comfortable being there at all, just felt alone even though I was in a room with other people. We usually start the class with a short meditation, only I managed to feel tears run down my face, the tutor saw, he smiled, he knows I have Mental Health problems. I’m not going into why I was teary, it’s not something I wish to discuss. In fact, I’m starting to think I’m better off not telling anyone anything. Why bother? I don’t want to give other people my grief, they have their own problems.
I’m going on holiday in June, and I’m very much looking forward to it. I need a holiday! Badly. I also need out of this place. This country is about to (not that it already isn’t) go ‘tits up’. Need to get back to the working out how to get to Vancouver, follow my heart. Hopefully. One day. My ultimate goal in life. But for now, another day has been done, and I live to see another day.