Free

I wish I could tell you just how I feel inside, but I'm scared of how you will react. Will you just stay silent, which hurts more than words, will you just sit and do nothing at all. I just want to be rescued, someone to make me smile, someone to give me hugs when... Continue Reading →

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Emotions

A "friend" said I was "Borderline Emotionally Manipulative" the other day, AFTER, I'd told them I was suicidal. They said they cared which is why they were saying to "get the self-pity out". I'm sorry, but how is that caring? What's worse is this person has been in a bad place before, so for them... Continue Reading →

Silent Sunday

The low hum of my laptop, the odd bird tweeting outside, a train trundling past every 30 minutes or so, no-one to talk to, no-where to go, it's only 11.23 and I feel like I've been awake for 2 days! I'm on my second cup of coffee, I never, unless I'm going out, have two... Continue Reading →

Watching. Waiting.

"Masquerade paper faces on parade, masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you"* except I suspect the world has found me, and it's staring hard, judging all the movements, all the steps, all the words, everything. Watching. Waiting. Waiting for me to slip and fall so they can laugh at me. Waiting... Continue Reading →

A Fragment

I'm a fragment of my former self, where once I did so much alone, now I'm afraid to leave the apartment. It takes so much to just get on the train to go into Liverpool for my acting classes, it terrifies me. I never used to be like that. I was planning on visiting my... Continue Reading →

Brick Wall

Urgh, don't you just hate it when you wake up and feel like you've been hit by a brick wall and a train? Literally how I'm feeling today, even though I slept, reasonably, still so tired. Drained. Fed up. It's only 10.36 BST but it feels like I've been awake for days, even though I... Continue Reading →

Poems 1.1

Does Anybody Care Does anybody care about the wellness of me, Or am I destined to be alone and only me, Does anybody notice, When I am not around, Will anyone remember me when I am dead in the ground. Does anybody care when I am in tears, Does anybody care when I'm filled with... Continue Reading →

How are you today?

Well? How are you today? Yes you reading this, *waves*, if no-one has asked, I just did. If you are in the UK and any time zone ahead of BST, you've done great, you are doing great, have that cup of tea/glass of something lovely, keep going, you're wanted and loved. If you are in... Continue Reading →

Truths

*This is quite a long entry, sorry in advance* Hello Darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again... Living with Chronic Depression and Chronic Fatigue and eczema that's caused by stress and environment, one can only hold out for so long before Darkness raises it's ugly head. I shouldn't be feeling this,... Continue Reading →

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