I wish I could tell you just how I feel inside, but I'm scared of how you will react. Will you just stay silent, which hurts more than words, will you just sit and do nothing at all. I just want to be rescued, someone to make me smile, someone to give me hugs when... Continue Reading →



A "friend" said I was "Borderline Emotionally Manipulative" the other day, AFTER, I'd told them I was suicidal. They said they cared which is why they were saying to "get the self-pity out". I'm sorry, but how is that caring? What's worse is this person has been in a bad place before, so for them... Continue Reading →

Help, what help

Having seen my GP last Tuesday and spoken with him a decision was made that for my own Mental Well-being I should withdraw from the play, which is what I did. But whilst at the GP he looked at my notes from when he referred me last to see a Psychiatrist, there is a triage... Continue Reading →

A Fragment

I'm a fragment of my former self, where once I did so much alone, now I'm afraid to leave the apartment. It takes so much to just get on the train to go into Liverpool for my acting classes, it terrifies me. I never used to be like that. I was planning on visiting my... Continue Reading →

Brick Wall

Urgh, don't you just hate it when you wake up and feel like you've been hit by a brick wall and a train? Literally how I'm feeling today, even though I slept, reasonably, still so tired. Drained. Fed up. It's only 10.36 BST but it feels like I've been awake for days, even though I... Continue Reading →

Poems 1.1

Does Anybody Care Does anybody care about the wellness of me, Or am I destined to be alone and only me, Does anybody notice, When I am not around, Will anyone remember me when I am dead in the ground. Does anybody care when I am in tears, Does anybody care when I'm filled with... Continue Reading →

Week Four – Done

Just got home having completed week four of my 10 week Script Analysis class. For today's class we had to analyse (yeah I know it's the course) the script "Au Pair and the Student", which is from the play The Blue Room, intriguing script, lots of facts and questions. I somehow managed to end up with... Continue Reading →

The Suicidal Mind

*The following is how I feel during my suicidal times, not everyone will feel the same* Ever had that sinking feeling that you're not wanted? That feeling of loneliness even in a room filled with people? That feeling that there is no point? That feeling of, "what now"? I get those feelings, more often than... Continue Reading →

Keep Going

My previous post, The Evil Within, may have had positive words in it, but believe me when I say, I was not positive in any way whilst I wrote it. I've had a very difficult time lately, I'm in a very dark place, spent so much time crying I'm surprised I have any tears left.... Continue Reading →

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