A "friend" said I was "Borderline Emotionally Manipulative" the other day, AFTER, I'd told them I was suicidal. They said they cared which is why they were saying to "get the self-pity out". I'm sorry, but how is that caring? What's worse is this person has been in a bad place before, so for them... Continue Reading →


Acting For Camera (Lesson 6)

Lesson 5 didn’t happen as I wasn’t well, hence the skipping to Lesson 6. I got a script via email the other day for Lesson 6, only to discover the person I’m doing the script with was not there and because I’d already analysed it I didn’t have much to do. I ran through it... Continue Reading →

Watching. Waiting.

"Masquerade paper faces on parade, masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you"* except I suspect the world has found me, and it's staring hard, judging all the movements, all the steps, all the words, everything. Watching. Waiting. Waiting for me to slip and fall so they can laugh at me. Waiting... Continue Reading →

Help, what help

Having seen my GP last Tuesday and spoken with him a decision was made that for my own Mental Well-being I should withdraw from the play, which is what I did. But whilst at the GP he looked at my notes from when he referred me last to see a Psychiatrist, there is a triage... Continue Reading →

Rehearsal Sunday

Had a rehearsal day, if you could call it that, 11.00 - 14.45, went through a scene with the other cast members who are in the scene. Really felt out of place and useless. Asked my tutor about Spotlight, which is one of the main websites for casting, you need either professional credits or a... Continue Reading →


*This is quite a long entry, sorry in advance* Hello Darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again... Living with Chronic Depression and Chronic Fatigue and eczema that's caused by stress and environment, one can only hold out for so long before Darkness raises it's ugly head. I shouldn't be feeling this,... Continue Reading →

Week Four – Done

Just got home having completed week four of my 10 week Script Analysis class. For today's class we had to analyse (yeah I know it's the course) the script "Au Pair and the Student", which is from the play The Blue Room, intriguing script, lots of facts and questions. I somehow managed to end up with... Continue Reading →

The Suicidal Mind

*The following is how I feel during my suicidal times, not everyone will feel the same* Ever had that sinking feeling that you're not wanted? That feeling of loneliness even in a room filled with people? That feeling that there is no point? That feeling of, "what now"? I get those feelings, more often than... Continue Reading →

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